If you really knew me

If you really knew me you'd know that I love to travel but hate the plane ride and love the road trip.
If you really knew me you'd know I hate sleeping alone,
I once had 2 frogs named Siegfried and Jensen, 
and I don't like boys who soak themselves in axe. 
If you really knew me you'd know every time I go to the movies I bring a blanket and eat sour punch straws. 
I hate cats and love country concerts. 
I eat the whole bowl of brownie batter every time its made and love cereal.
If you really knew me you'd know that I love making a big egg breakfast for the fam and love the smell of laundry.
If you really knew me you'd know that I have eleven nieces and nephews under the age of 10 who I love, i'm the youngest in my family, and am the only one who is single........
I like to be on the lake and be outdoors, I listen to music all the time, and enjoy nice drives up the canyon. 
If you really knew me you'd know I watched Barney till the age of 10, I love cherry popsicles, and I hate the dark.
My middle name is Rose, I love taking afternoon naps, and drink too much Orange Juice. 
One of my favorite things is going to the Drive- in, being with those I love, and eating crushed ice.
If you really knew me you'd know that if my house were burning down the one of many things i'd bring are my scriptures. 
I'm allergic to pineapple but still eat it because I love it so much.
My idol is Celine Dion, i'm obsessed with baby lotion, and am also a Vicks addict. 
If you really knew me...

I remember when.

I remember when I was a little girl and thought 16 was so old. I remember when I was 16 and knew nothing.

I remember when I couldn't have the toy I wanted and dropped to the floor like it was the end of the world. I remember getting in a fight my sibling yesterday and in that moment again, thought it was the end of the world.

I remember when I thought being young was hard.. well I'm now a teenager and still think life is hard. 

I've learned that life doesn't get easier the older you get. I've learned to live in the moment and be happy with no regret.

When I look back I didn't believe that. I remember thinking I knew how life went. I still think I know how life goes and I absolutely don't and probably won't. 

I remember a lot. So many memories that I can't even keep track, but its because of all those memories and I remembers that i've learned all I have. 

I remember going through things then.. but never knew how it would impact my life now. 

I love those I remembers. The good and the bad. Every single day I hope I can say I remember, because its those days when life isn't too bad.
So I can reflect on the amazing life that i've gotten to have. 

My favorite moments are when I can sit back and say I remember when. 

BLACKOUT

A lot of walking around that is overwhelming, 
seeing lots of smiles he didn't expect.
Today is safe, the sun rose




                                                                                                                                               

They fill a possibility covering something up to fly, 
as time goes on.

How to make Lemonade

Do you honestly know how to make lemonade? no, no you don't because the glass of water with 

powder just doesn't count. Lemonade is my favorite drink and i don't even know how to make it right and i'm about to tell you how to make it the best i know. How about at the restaurant when they ask you what flavor you'd like. They ask you that because they have more than plenty to choose from. 

I don't know how to make lemonade perfectly.. but i've had it so many times that i know thats it's best with sugar on top of the glass.

Every time they add more sugar it just makes it sweeter. The more the sugar the sweeter it is. 

I don't know how to make lemonade but i know that the more the sugar, the better it tastes. 

i know that in life when things are hard, when we just smile even when we don't want to, life will be better, maybe even sweeter than lemonade. 

Lemonade has so many different flavors you can try. Right when you get sick of one you can test another. You can find your favorite flavor and share it with someone else and help bring sweetness into their lives. 

We always here the phrase "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade." well what happens when you don't know how to make it perfect? You have to get the right amount of fruit and sugar perfectly to even make it taste right. 

Sometimes even when we don't know how to make it perfectly we can try taste by taste until we get it  right. We can add fruit by fruit and maybe one more teaspoon of sugar. And if we never try the glass of water will no longer have water dripping from the sides because of its refreshing cool. The lemon will be untouched and soon lose its perfect bright shape and color. 

How do i teach you how to make lemonade if i don't even know how? i don't think any of us do because the powder you poor into a glass of water just doesn't count. When life hands you lemons, take the lemon and make lemonade. Cut the lemon and taste it. Try it out and maybe by adding a little sugar it can turn into something sweeter. 

Sad Chair

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

I wish I wrote this poem. The reason is, is because its so short but so perfect. 

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 

And sorry i could not travel both

Thats true in life and thats what i love. it makes me think of taking the right road because we cant take both.

It forces us to take the right one.. and if not we will eventually know for a fact that its the right way. 

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and i took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference".

life leads us into the way were supposed to go. no matter where you think you're supposed to go.

and thats what i love. 

"Yet knowing how way leads on to way, i doubted if i should ever come back." 

Experience life and don't doubt or regret. Trust in your journey and if you head the wrong way at first, who cares.

Love where you are in the now and live in every moment. 

Take a minute

We travel because we're amazed by the world. We're in unbelief of how pretty everything really is. Sometimes we don't realize how lucky we are to live in such a place with mountains surrounding our every eye.

 Our every sight is filled with god's creation from the pine on the tree to the big waters that make up our earth with land. I sit in awe as i watch the still water.. and hear the sounds of the wind. It gives me such peace and comfort knowing i am surrounded by something created from a god.

 It lets me think when i need to think and helps me to just be calm. In that one minute to just be calm. We have crazy lives and its expected of us to keep it balanced. Take a second and just sit. There's nothing wrong with taking a breather from everyday challenge. Sit and think of all you should be grateful for, because we are blessed with this amazing world. So use it. 

We don't live forever so see the world in each and every detail because it is beyond the humans comprehension.

 I sit and let it sooth me. In that one minute to just be calm. 

Then and Now

MY HEARTS CHANGED FROM THEN TO NOW. AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF.. THATS GOOD. I HEARD MY 

HEART POUND AND ACHE ALL IN ONE AND I DIDNT LIKE IT. DIDNT LIKE IT, BECAUSE I DIDNT FEEL 

LIKE MYSELF. I FELT WEAK, BUT IM NOT WEAK. I FELT WEAK TIMES BECAUSE I WOKE UP TO DAYS 

THAT WERE TOO HARD TO BE STRONG. TO ME NOW THAT WAS DIFFERENT THEN, IS THAT THERE 

ARE NEVER DAYS THAT ARE TOO HARD TO BE STRONG. BUT I APPRECIATE THOSE DAYS. THEY MADE 

ME WHO I AM AND WHO IM FORMING INTO. I THANK MY HEART BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE HOPE. I 

THANK MY HEART FOR NEVER GIVING UP. AND WHEN IT DOES GIVE UP, I THANK MY MIND FOR 

TELLING IT NOT TO. IM DIFFERENT FROM THEN AND NOW AND I KNOW I'LL BE DIFFERENT FROM 

NOW TO THEN. THAT BRINGS ME FEAR AND EXCITEMENT. IM READY AND IM NOT. WHEN HAVE I 

EVER BEEN READY.. I NEVER HAVE. AND THATS WHY ITS ALL GOING TO BE OK. THERE MY HEART IS GIVING ME HOPE AGAIN. AND I LOVE THAT. 

Then i looked up

I was laying down by a river. Then i looked up. I saw balloons above my head. They were getting higher and higher and I wondered what it'd be like to be like one. Maybe not one, maybe all of them. To have the power that they all have together to keep getting higher and higher. I got discouraged because i know that i'm grounded. I know that if i were to try to fly i would fall from the force of gravity. I know that it would be impossible, but i just sat there and dreamed. Dreamed of what it would be like to fly. No weight or burden on my shoulders. Just simply, as light as a feather. No one or nothing to bring me down. I was invincible. I was free and lightweight. I was happy. I was flying high and i never wanted to drop. I felt the breeze through my hair and saw the beautiful land that god had created. I was amazed. I was amazed at the thought of being able to fly. Being able to leave a stressful life and enter into a carefree world. But that carefree world wasn't real. That thought made me mad, so mad that i decided to create my own care free world. To create my own calm no matter where i was. I learned an important lesson that day. All from a balloon. All from looking up. 

THE BLUE UMBRELLA

The blue umbrella is something i want to be. The blue umbrella is something i hope i can be. I once had this blue umbrella. When i needed it, it was there. When i had it i felt protected. It was big and didn't only cover me, but covered the extra space around me. I didn't only feel protected but i was. 

There was something about that blue. The soft, calming, and comforting blue. In times of fear i felt safe. I felt invisible as if the umbrella were hiding me. When i would walk with that umbrella i felt as if no one could see my step. 

That umbrella was my barrier. My barrier from the rain, the wind, and sometimes the people who would pass. When i would look up i saw the rain drops slide down the umbrella and knew i wouldn't feel a speck of rain on my skin. That thought gave me warmth when i was cold. 

The blue umbrella went everywhere with me and began to wear through time. It couldn't take the strong wind and rain after so long. Those heavy rain drops soon formed wholes throughout the blue umbrella, but i used it until i couldn't anymore.

When i realized it was worthless i began to think about how that blue umbrella made me feel. I began to realize that the blue umbrella would no longer be there when i needed it. I knew it was just an object and could easily be replaced. I knew it was stupid to feel sorrow over a dumb object, but yet i felt sorrow. I felt protected with that blue umbrella. I felt comforted and covered every single time i would hold it over my head. I didn't want to get rid of that umbrella, but knew i needed too.

But ever since i knew i wanted to keep that umbrella alive. I want to be there for others as that umbrella was there for me. I want to protect those who fear and comfort those who sorrow. I want to be a barrier to keep peoples burdens from hitting their shoulders. That blue umbrella is something i want to be. That blue umbrella is something i hope i can be.

                                 

ANSWERS---> NEXT EXIT.

IM ARRAID OF A LOT. A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE SACRE ME, AND ONE OF THE SCARIEST PARTS OF IT ALL IS I DON'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS.. ACTUALLY ZERO 
ANSWERS.

 I HAVE FEARS OF WHAT I'LL BECOME, IF I'LL BECOME THE PERSON THAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE. 

I'M AFRAID THAT I WON'T MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE. 

IT SCARES ME THAT I DONT HAVE TO ANSWER TO THOSE FEARS.. THOSE WONDERS..THOSE THINGS THAT SCARE ME MOST IN LIFE. WHY AM I AFRAID OF THESE THINGS ? 

WHY DO WE FEAR AND WORRY ? I HAVE FEARS OF LOSING THOSE I LOVE, AND EVEN SOMETHING AS STUPID AS GETTING LOST IN THE FOREST AND NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND MY WAY BACK.  

I DON'T HAVE ANSWERS IN LIFE, AND THAT SCARES ME. THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNEASY AND UNSURE. 

I'M LIVING LIFE AND WILL OCCASIONALLY RUN INTO A FEAR AND I STOP AND GO SILENT. WHEN IM SCARED I PAUSE COMPLETELY AND FEEL MY HEART POUNT OUT OF MY CHEST. 

I HEAR MY HEART BEAT AND YET IM LEFT HANGING, HANGING WITH ZERO ANSWERS... WONDERING WHAT TO DO IN THAT MOMENT. IN THE MOMENTS THAT WE ARE MOST AFRAID, WE FEEL ALONE AND ARE CONFUSED. 

WE'RE SCARED AND CANT EVEN THINK IN THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND. I GUESS IN 
THAT MOMENT WE HOPE.. JUST HOPE THAT WE CAN FIND AN ANSWER.

 

"Its building under my skin on my cheeks and it is literally welling in my eyes and I don't know what to do because now I'm crying.     and I'm scared." -Rothko 

LIFE. GOES. ON.

lIFE IS ON GOING. Truth is it really doesn't stop. But i have a concern... is that a good or a bad thing? 

When you want life to slow down, it won't, and when you want life to speed up, it won't. 

life moves at a pace of it's own. Iv'e realized it's a pace that we can't control. I often reflect back on my 

 life and wonder how it past by so quickly.. In fact, the only thing i can relate it too would be a freight 

train. 

But in the moment life isn't fast. It all of a sudden goes back to a pace that i don't know if i like. A 

pace that when things go wrong it seems like a day lasts forever, but when something amazing happens 

the day ends within a blink of an eye. 

Truth is that bothers me. If it were up to me i would reverse that equation. I would make sure that the 

happiest moments in our lives would last a life time, and the times when we want life to move like the 

speed of light would do exactly as that. 

But thats not the way it's supposed to be. LIFE GOES ON.. whether we like it that way or not. Life moves 

day to day at a pace that we cannot control. Life is and will always be ON GOING. It will be a good day for 

someone while for you will feel like a lifetime. 

In the exact same day it can be forever and not long enough all in one. But the truth is, it is the exact 

same time in every single day and it just repeats, repeats, and repeats. 

bricks.

Bricks come in many sizes and colors ranging from reds to browns to tans to greys. It only has one shape which is rectangular but they can be small or big. Bricks are hard and heavy. You can also use them for multiple things. They are hard to break and can build you some of the best. If you look closely they are very detailed and none of them are the exact same. Some may be damaged or chipped on the edges not creating a perfect rectangle, and others may be dented on the center and sides. Just because a brick is an object doesn't mean it is perfect in every state. Bricks are real, bricks are strong, and bricks are different and non perfect. To me bricks are built to work together. Why do they have circles in them? maybe to help the cement mold together with the other bricks? or maybe there just built that way with no purpose. Why are they only rectangular? So that the can stack and soon be as one. Bricks aren't soft. They are rough and sometimes sharp. To me a brick is worthless but so useful at the same time, and sometimes i feel like thats how concrete things are. Worthless with no purpose, but useful with every purpose. 

What if every sunday were Oscar Sunday?

If every sunday were Oscar sunday than it wouldn't be as special as it is now. The stars would also become very over rated. Why do we itch to watch academy awards anyways? Im sitting here watching the red carpet literally itching for the Oscars to begin. Us as humans are so worldly and care so much about the fame and fortune. We care so much about the stars and what they wear.. i mean really? But i personally crave it. I don't know why we care, but i don't really mind it either. LET THE OSCARS BEGIN! 

D.I.F.F.E.R.E.N.T.

     B. E.              D. I. F. F. E. R. E. N. T. 

Be something you're not for once. Do things you don't really do, try new things and create new hobbies. It will only benefit you for the better, so you might as well give it a shot. Talk to people you don't usually talk to and i promise you won't regret it. It will be hard to do all of this but it takes courage and if you don't usually step out of your comfort zone then you should try it, and by trying this you can be DIFFERENT. Don't follow the crowd, be your own you. Don't be indie and don't be average. Make up a trend that no one knew even existed and people will follow. People look up to those who do their own thing. Inspire and motivate others. We all have different types of creativity so use it. BE YOU, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, BE DIFFERENT.

LOVE

                                       Does anyone                                              even know what
                              love is? I honestly don't                               think you can even explain
                           or describe the word love. I                         mean, if you think about it love 
                      is so great that people are in love                  with the thought of love. that says
                      a lot. How do you know if you  kn            ow if you've ever felt that amazing fe
                      eling of love? Iv'e heard from more t        han one person that you just know w
                       hen its right and it's hard for me to eve   n comprehend that. The thought of lo
                          ve scares me a little bit and i don't really know why, but when it comes my
                            way i hope to be as ready as ill ever be. Love is what keeps the world sp
                             inning round. Without love, there would be no happiness. No one wou
                              ld have feelings towards one another, no one would do things for tho
                                se they care about. Love is sacrificing everything you have for oth
                                   ers. love is eternal and deep. Love makes you who you are and
                                      helps form you into the person that you're supposed to be. I
                                        cannot wait to find out what the feeling of love really fe
                                            els like and i think it is truly unexpainable. Don't ev
                                                en try because love grows beyond words. I kno
                                                    w there is no description and if i tried the w
                                                       rds that come to mind are happiness, sel
                                                           flessness, loyalty... there are so m
                                                             any things too describe it, but y
                                                                 et its indiscribeable. Does 
                                                                     this even make sense?   
                                                                        Nope. because its
                                                                                LOVE.
       
                         

BE HAPPY.

Do you ever feel like life sometimes takes over? in a negative way? How about when nothing seems to go your way.. We let our lives sometimes take over when it doesn't need to. Life is hard for everyone in their own ways, but the biggest thing holding you back is yourself. Here is something.. when life weighs you down, just SMILE and simply remember how amazing life really is. How about thinking you're lucky to be alive that day and what a blessing that really is. We all go through hard times to learn and grow from not to be discouraged from. Life is what you make it so don't forget to smile! Don't hold yourself back.. make a bucket list and complete it! squeeze as much in as possible and make memories with those you love. We get overwhelmed with the stress and hardships in life and we let that dictate the rest of our day, week, and soon to be month until we find ourselves miserable.. Everyone has bad days and that is normal because no one is perfect! just don't let that turn into an everyday thing. Life wasn't meant to tear us down, it is a journey we must all love and cherish for the rest of our lives! We will run into unexpected things and occasionally will fall, but don't stay down. Pick yourself up and put a smile on your face even when it seems hardest too and things will just fall into place. Sometimes a good picker upper is what you need.  Look at the glass half full instead of half empty. Its all about perspective.

Why are we so afraid to get messy and make mistakes? That's what life is. Having fun in the dirt while becoming better than we were before.
Life seemed so much easier back then, and there's something about a child's innocence that I'm sure we all miss. Some people wish they could go back to their childhood and do it all over again, but If we all did that than who would you be today without the mistakes you've made and learned from? Life is all just a big growing experience and we're lacking the joy and craziness that we used to have as a kid! why do we care so much about what other people think? we're teens and we weren't kids that long ago.. we're still so young and you're the closest to your childhood right now than you'll ever be, so don't be afraid to do stupid things, get messy, and make mistakes! You know how we all miss our childhood? Well we're going to miss our teen years too so we might as well make these years meaningful and memorable! This is the age where we discover who we are as well as find ourselves and there's not a better way to add our creativeness to the equation like how we had it when we were young. Be whatever color you want to be and share it with others. God gave each of us talents and each talent and gift is individually creative in its own way so use it! Use crayons, paint, chalk, and more and make your world colorful. Think out of the box and bring something different into the world. Paint the sky red and the ocean green because that's how YOU picture it. Be young, mess up, roll in the paint, and color your world whatever colors you imagine them to be, because colors can be such a POWERFUL thing. Even better, make up a color that doesn't even exist.

BEING HUMAN. 

“I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human.” 
― C. JoyBell C.
“Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings.” 
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” 
― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

I know I'm human because I have five senses that help make up my body which are:  TOUCH, SMELL, TASTE, SIGHT, and HEAR. 

Having these senses helps me to feel like I'm living a real human life. I use these every day and without them I would not feel as human as I do. Yes, these are the five senses of the human body, but there's something missing. What about the soul? What's a human body without a spirit?

I know I'm human because i have five and more senses that help make up my soul which are:  FEEL EMOTION, HAVE POTENTIAL, GAIN KNOWLEDGE, BUILD TALENTS, STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS, and EXPERIENCE LIFE'S JOURNEY. 

I AM HUMAN.

What would life be like without time?

I always hear the phrase "timing is everything" and because we don't know any better we all probably believe that to be true. Have you ever thought about what our world would be like without time? Sometimes I get irritated because I'm on a time schedule every single day, and I find myself checking the clock too often to even enjoy the day. I also find that my days are over within a snap of a finger and before I know it, it's the next morning. Without time our world wouldn't run at its right pace... in fact it wouldn't run at all, but with time our world runs maybe just a little too fast. 

I know that for all of our lives to continue we need the clock to keep ticking, but that doesn't mean I wish it wouldn't sometimes. I love my life and I don't want it to just rush by. I'm often told to enjoy life right where it is, because before you know it that stage your'e in will end and the people you meet at that time will come and go. Your'e going to keep growing older and that clock won't ever stop ticking. Here's what I do admire about time, with more of it in our lives, we begin to realize how to love every second, minute, and even every hour of every single day.

Quotes are the best.

              "May you always do what you are afraid to do"

                 This quote says it all, and i love it.